saltandlight

Forgiveness is something that I believe everyone struggles with at some point in their lives.

As a teenager I experienced a situation in which I needed forgiveness and I need to forgive as well.  This situation haunted me well into adulthood.  After I got saved, I said that I forgave the other person, but for years the mention of his name caused me to cringe.  I also shared some of the blame in this situation.  I asked God to forgive me of my sins over and over.

One day (years later) I was at home alone. I was in my twenties. (This was probably 10 or 12 years later!)  I had an encounter with God.  I could feel in my spirit that I needed to deal with this unforgiveness in my heart.  I prayed and prayed, I don’t think I realized at the time what was going on other than time alone with God.  I didn’t realize the transformation that was happening. In that tiny little living room, I found it in my heart to forgive myself.  Yes, myself.  I didn’t understand it completely at the time, but I had blamed myself and put myself down so much that I didn’t realize that I needed to forgive myself before I could forgive anyone else!  All that time that I was asking God to forgive me over and over (as if it took more than once), I really needed to forgive myself.  He had already forgiven me.  I felt the presence of God more that day than I ever had.  A lot of healing took place that day.  Then and only then was I able to truly forgive the person that I had spent a good many years blaming.

When we carry unforgiveness in our hearts, we are saying that Jesus dying on the cross for our sins is not good enough.  Who are we to say that we can’t forgive ourselves or others?

I have struggled with forgiveness plenty of other times as well.  And the devil reminds of my mistakes quite often. But I remind him that I’m forgiven!  I’ve been washed by the blood of the lamb!

John 8:36 “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”