saltandlight

The tongue, as we all know, can get us in trouble sometimes.

It truly can speak life or death. Our words can truly make or break someone.  That old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is just not true.  As much as I insisted that it were when I was a small child that had gotten hurt by someone’s words.

The book of James in the Bible speaks very strongly about our tongues.  James 3:5-8

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with my words.  Have you ever thought back over a conversation and thought “why did I say that”, or “that didn’t come out right”?  Well, I definitely have!  Many more times than I care to admit.

A couple of years ago, I had a conversation with someone about a mutual friend.  Well, our mutual friend who was a guy was currently dating someone that neither of us approved of.  And I didn’t say anything about the person they were dating exactly.  All I said was that I was concerned about our friend dating this girl.  I didn’t say why I was concerned.  The person I was talking to said that they had heard this and that and I just nodded my head in agreement.  I knew that I shouldn’t have even been engaging in this conversation.  Well, about a week or so later, I was confronted with none other than the person that we had been talking about, not our mutual friend, but his girlfriend.  I was accused of saying all kinds of things that I had not said.  And I assured this girl that I had not said any of those things and I didn’t even think that about her.  But, the damage was still done.  She said she believed me, and I hope she did.  Well, that really threw me for a loop.  I mean, I hadn’t said the things this girl thought I had said about her.  After talking to our mutual guy friend, undoubtedly the person that I had engaged in conversation with had gone and told our mutual guy friend that I had said this and that about his girlfriend.

So, I got really upset about this.  I was angry at both of my friends.  My friend for twisting our conversation around into making it sound like it was my words and not hers.  And I was also upset that our guy friend had gone and told his girlfriend all of this without talking to me first.

I prayed about it and prayed about it.  I was really angry and didn’t speak to either one of them for a while.  But, then while praying about it over time God started showing me something (and I really knew this but I didn’t want to admit it).  What if I could go back to that day and change the course of that conversation?  I could have changed the course of that conversation or not said anything at all.  I am sure that she meant well.  She was trying to get our guy friend to realize he needed to be careful with the girl he was dating.  She may have even gotten our conversation mixed up in her mind and actually thought that I was the one that had said those things.  There’s no telling.  I’ve forgiven them both.  But, I learned something from it.  (Isn’t that the point?-God allows these things to happen sometimes for us to learn)

I’m sure you all have stories of your own that you have either been the victim of gossip or been part of the gossip that caused someone to get hurt.

It’s why James wrote so strongly about it.  “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

Proverbs 15:4 “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

So, how can we ‘tame our tongues’?  We can’t, James said it in verse 8.  But, God can when we submit to him.

So, here are some ways that our tongues can be tamed:

Rely on God’s strength daily.

 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.  Philippians 4:13

 (Think before we speak!)

Dedicate your heart and your tongue to the Lord each day.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord,          my strength, and my redeemer”  Psalm 19:14.

Your words are an indication of what’s in your heart.

Put your heart in tune with God’s Spirit by daily reading His Word.

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works” II Timothy 3:16–17

Assume responsibility for every word you speak.

“But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account    thereof in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36.

Ask for forgiveness for any unloving words or attitudes.

For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man . . .” James 3:2

Learn to speak words that will encourage, comfort, inspire, and edify.

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom” James 3:13

This is something that I think we all struggle with.  We either say something we didn’t mean to say, or it comes out the wrong way.  But, by stopping and thinking before our words come tumbling out, we can say a quick prayer and allow God to control our words.